Home | Articles | Poetry | About The Author | Contact Us |
So many people are suffering these days with an inability to cope with their lives. How can we, as Christians, help?
Working with cognitively ill, physically ill, and palliative clients who are dying, I am approached from time to time by clients and family members to assist in the end of life process with maximum, frequent doses of very strong medications, as many have cancers or debilitating disabilities of physical and/or mental aetiology. Some family members ask in an off-hand joking manner to “test” my reaction, while others are blatant and get quite angry that they perceive their loved ones are suffering for a considerable time, and just want a speedy solution. After counselling with these people it seems that they cannot see any quality of life anymore for themselves or their family members, so they want an end to it all. They do not want solutions, often citing that they are tired and have had enough.
In the nursing arena, it is known as Acopia and is recognized as a medical diagnosis in addition to Depression, Anxiety, Dementia and many other physical and mental diagnoses. Thankfully, euthanasia is not legal where I come from, but it is arguably only a matter of time. Hopefully I will be retired by then.
Working at aged care facilities, deaths occur rather frequently. There has been a higher incidence recently, and people are noticing this and discussing the whys and hows of it all. There seems to be a building pressure mounting to end lives because the general philosophy is, a person has a right to choose, when they cannot cope any more with the pain or the day to day struggles that they have to endure. So why not...they reason it is the most humane thing that could be and should be done for others, if we love them.
Working as a Christian in this world can be tough. As nurses we are trained to put aside our own personal morals and ethics, to be non-judgemental and objective about everything. This results in a stance of anything goes to a certain degree. For example, if a smoker wants to smoke a cigarette, we as health professionals, must put aside our values and take that person outside and light the cigarette, and stay with them if they are not safe to be left alone in case of burning themselves or creating a fire hazard. Many nurses buckle under pressure and conform while only a very small minority refuse. I have never been comfortable with enabling any patient or client to smoke and refuse on the basis that smoking is indeed injurious to one’s health. Things are shifting somewhat and now it is more acceptable for the staff who actually smoke cigarettes themselves, to be assigned to the clients who are smokers. Seemingly a win-win situation with the staff smokers having more time off to sit and inhale with the clients. Not really sure about that one. I am just very grateful that I am not out there breathing all those unfiltered second hand tobacco fumes.
As a nurse working in the 21st century, things can really become very stressful suddenly as people may deteriorate unexpectedly. We challenge doctors frequently on poor decisions based on the norm rather than what the client actually needs (they are after all General Practitioners, not specialists in the field of Palliative Care) and the registered or clinical nurses are often educating the GPs on what is best in regards to pain management. We are quite frequently verbally abused by families and clients depending on their culture or unrealistic expectations of perfection whilst living in an imperfect world, and are expected to be miracle workers by upper management. These days I am part of that upper management wielding the pen that decides the plan of care for clients, but only if it falls within certain budgetary guidelines. The bottom line is that, in our working schedules, no time has been allocated for speaking with client’s family members. This means that the time taken to counsel with them will then need to be made up somewhere during our shift, usually when our shift ends. This invariably means staying back after we have clocked off to attend to all the work that did not get done while meeting family expectations.
Nurses are a dedicated bunch and do not usually complain and we certainly put in hundreds of hours annually without pay because the work has to get done somehow. So many of my friends who are nurses have left this career and have opted to become real estate agents, social workers, veterinary nurses, or return to university for retraining into another field such as veterinary science. Some enroll in a Bachelor of Arts course for the sheer enjoyment, rather than the necessity of gaining a second degree for employment purposes. Many are literally just marking time, albeit very frustrated with the system, until retirement within the next few years.
Being a nurse definitely presents challenges in examining one’s own belief systems regarding life, death, pain, suffering, and helping others. We get to meet many people with every circumstance in life from the street person to the wealthiest business people, even including royalty. It is rare that a person will not need a nurse at some stage in their life.
I have had the bulk of my career nursing as a non-Christian and only the last decade of so as a Christian. When people comment now and again on how grateful they are to the staff for making their loved one’s life more bearable before they died, they often say “I don’t know how you girls do it!” I used to just smile and often still do. For those who actually ask, “No, really, I’d like to know how you have the patience of a saint?” or whatever the comment is, I tell them quietly ... “without my faith I would never be able to do what I do”. The reactions are many and varied and some literally really try to figure out what is going on but can’t get past the fact that God is real. Some have simply been burnt by religiosity or want the physical evidence of proof that God exists without looking at the Bible.
When I am at work I can be objective, even though I may have formed stronger bonds with some patients than with others. This depends on how long I have known them, or how great the struggle has been to get them to where they need to be within themselves, and with family and friends, so they will be at peace before they die. This is one aspect of my profession. Even though it can be so emotionally draining and difficult I have chosen this career path and enjoy the results when you know you have made a difference, even the smallest of differences.
In some ways nurses are peacemakers or the go-between for the patient and their families and friends. What do you do when physical and spiritual family ask for help? On a personal front I have had two people approach me, confiding that they are suicidal, have given up, and want to end their lives. Both seemingly came out of nowhere. One from written contact, the other from a telephone call from a close family member. The common message was, “I know I need help but I don’t know what to do. All I know is that I am going to die unless someone helps me”.
That is a lot to process for any human being. I cannot imagine what it must be like for teenagers and young adults who have limited life experience and may be faced with this type of situation. Amongst my three children, all know of friends or friends of friends who have attempted suicide, or from others who have active or passive thoughts about the ways and means of their demise. And then there are many, many people who self harm by cutting themselves repeatedly all over their bodies with knives or scissors. Conversely, when I went to school I knew of only two children who were battling leukaemia or cancer in all those years of primary and high school. Nobody ever said anything about suicide or wanting to end their lives. Self harm was non-existent. Maybe there were some with depressive thoughts but nothing was ever expressed or acted on.
The world has changed so much in just my life time. The call for help came late one evening. When I listened to the voice on the other end of the phone admitting they were suicidal, I kept asking God for help on how to speak to the person and what I should say. A certain Scripture kept popping up in my mind about actually doing something rather than just saying “Everything will be alright, don’t worry, just take one day at a time, you’ll get there” etc. This is found in Matthew 25:34-40. Encouragement and reassurance is not going to cut it or make a huge difference. These people are desperate and cannot see any future. Both of them are deeply depressed and both have addictions, one with alcohol and one with drugs. I cannot begin to understand what it must be like drinking oneself to death, nor do I want to understand it. I don’t need to. As a nurse I understand that the substances they are addicted to become a crutch, a comfort to fill the void and remove the pain, even if only temporarily, to what they are going through. Then after the chemical exchange has worn off, most likely they will hate themselves all over again and so a vicious cycle repeats itself.