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Do you ever find yourself having a “meltdown” or crisis over things out of your control?
Most of the time things run rather smoothly, with only minor or transient squirmishes indicating a degree of discomfort when something needs to change in your life. This may be related to work, family, relationships, finances, or any number of routine, daily activities. The term “smooth sailing” or “steady as she goes” is a familiar one among those sailing the seas. What about us landlubbers who are unfamiliar with the sea or sailing? We like to walk carefully and plan our steps so that we do not take risks or engage in dangerous pursuits. Enter the term “comfort zone”. We all have them and some of us indulge more than we should. Don’t get me wrong — there is nothing wrong with being responsible, working hard to earn an honest living, and having a good work/life balance to pursue hobbies or interests that are either helpful, creative, or pleasing to us while enhancing skills in art, sports, sailing, flying, bowling, singing, making cards, writing to others, or whatever it is you are talented in. Routines are necessary to establish boundaries and aid in productivity.
High on my list of things I currently enjoy, now that I am almost considered a senior, is waking up each day without an alarm being set. Puttering about each morning, watering the plants, listening to the birds, getting ready for work without any mad rush or dash to exit the house, all give me great peace and joy. The pursuit of tranquility is a treasure to savour as once out of the home there is all manner of confusion, chaos and craziness about. I guess it doesn’t help now that the “silly season” is upon us. People are rushing about with greater intensity ensuring all their desires are met leading up to the “big day” next month. If you are in any way unsure as to what day I am referring to...December 25. The roads are now busier, and speeding with reckless lane-changing seems the norm, even expected without any reasonable indication, making defensive driving even more important than ever.
So why did I have 3 meltdowns in less than one week you may ask? After having 6-7 weeks out of my usual routine of work, the weekly preparation day on Friday, the Sabbath on Saturday, outing/family day on Sundays, it was quite a transition back into this familiar pattern once again. We had travelled halfway across Australia for the Feast of Tabernacles (FOT) and took a leisurely paced road trip back to our home base in Adelaide, South Australia. We drove daily bit by bit until we reached our destination always stopping before sunset to avoid accidents to our hire car with wildlife such as kangaroos, koalas, and wombats. We stayed mostly in hotels overnight and sometimes for two consecutive nights to incorporate Sabbath attendance with United Church of God congregations in Queensland, New South Wales, and Victoria. It was a nice, long, welcome break from our usual routine but somehow I became rather used to it.
Comfort Zone Balance or Comfort Zone-itis
Returning home from our trip however was eagerly anticipated to enjoy all the familiar comforts such as our ultra-comfy bed, recliner lounge chairs, spacious surroundings, and things such as personal possessions that we are used to. However I suddenly found myself with increased demands on my time in regard to work, cleaning up at home, family, friends, neighbours, a huge pile of mail, pets, the garden, and many other things that had been put on hold. I felt like I had lost control over my time and I did not like it. I wasn’t sure how I could get everything done that I needed to do. I wanted to take another week off work but knew this was totally unrealistic. That was my first meltdown. Basically complaining, grumbling, verbally stating out loud what I was struggling with. I willingly engaged in the sin of murmuring. I lost any semblance of self control by complaining. The Bible states in Philippians 2:14 to do all things without grumbling, complaining or arguing.
How suddenly things can change when our comfort zone is not in force. We can learn many things about ourselves. When we get tired from lack of sleep, hungry, hot, bothered, stressed by others, or feeling that we have no control over what happens to us, that is precisely when we need to step up and go to God in prayer like David did in Psalm 142:1-2 when he was in the cave hiding from persecutors who would kill him. By extension there is absolutely no point in whining or griping about how unfair so and so is at work or whether we think the boss is incompetent or out to get us. This will not help. Worry and anxiety are not our friends (Matthew 6:27). What matters now is how we handle adversity by building righteous character.
After my outburst I felt a little better but I knew that that was not the answer. I rather ashamedly remember saying out loud “Nobody cares!” Of course God cares, even when we may think nobody around us cares, God always cares (1 Peter 5:7). What did God do to help me? Firstly He gave me a very patient and loving husband who always sets me on the right course (Proverbs 12:25). Jim said to me “You cannot control other people’s thoughts or behaviours but you can always control your own thoughts and behaviours”. He has said this to me more than once over the last 2 years since our marriage, as I definitely need to be lovingly reminded of this from time to time. Over the course of the next couple of days I listened to several sermons from the church’s members site and guess what I heard? The same words as my husband had said. I couldn’t help but smile. God with His impeccable timing was reinforcing exactly what I needed to hear. I listened but I remember thinking at the time that I didn’t want to hear it — oh but I knew I needed to! Talk about needing an attitude adjustment!
Jonah, The Reluctant Prophet Who Had An Angry Meltdown
During meditation I wondered out of all the examples in the Bible which individual may have needed an attitude adjustment the most. The first name that came to mind was that of Jonah...the prophet who attempted to run and hide from God. During the course of his escapades he was swallowed up inside the belly of a huge fish of monstrous proportions. Jonah’s behaviour had quite an influence on the mariners in the sailing ship because of the turbulent storm that God sent. They witnessed immediate cessation of the tempestuous seas as soon as they threw Jonah overboard at his request. This caused the men to exceedingly fear God with awe and respect in offering a sacrifice and they took vows (Jonah 1:1-16). Jonah was a powerful witness to God’s will, even if he was reluctant to the point of death. This account shows how God can use anyone no matter how afraid or weak we may be, or how we feel about others.
God wanted Jonah to give a powerful prophetic message to the wicked people of Nineveh. Jonah did not expect the people to listen or repent and did not want to be the bearer of this hard message to deliver. But remember when the Assyrians listened to God’s message via Jonah and subsequently repented from their evil, sinful ways, Jonah became greatly annoyed and even bitter and angry (Jonah 4:1). I did not really understand Jonah’s attitude for quite some time but then eventually came to realise why he was so cranky.
Imagine opening up your Bible and finding you are on the exact same page at the start of the book of Jonah, not once or twice, but on three consecutive occasions. Not easy to do when all 4 chapters are in sight when opened. My prayer to God before this occurred was for Him to show me what I needed to learn. That is what happened to me in order for God to get my attention to learn what He was trying to get me to focus on. Jonah contains such an important lesson for all of us. No matter how sinful people may be, we should be joyful when they repent from their wickedness. Mercy and forgiveness are synonymous with God’s great love and triumph over judgement (James 2:13). Do we not all greatly and deeply appreciate the way God forgives us when we repent of our sins? Do we not pray for God to forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us? We should. We are advised to do so in the Model Prayer in Matthew 6:12. This admonition makes it crystal clear that we will be forgiven with the same measure with which we forgive others, as in Matthew 6:14.
Sustaining Righteous Character With Christ-like Behaviour
How do we do this? What is the right formula to use? Is there anything we can do to ensure success in resisting and overcoming our carnal human nature? There is only one way to resist and overcome...on our knees in humble heartfelt prayer to God our Father. He knows all even before we go to Him but He so desires we learn about ourselves, and when we do, tell Him all about it just like a small child would eagerly speak to his or her Daddy (Philippians 4:6).
Reading Matthew 6:25-34 is great wisdom to consult, draw from, and put into practice in our daily lives. “Therefore I say to you do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap, nor gather into barns; yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin: and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry saying, what shall we eat, or what shall we drink, or what shall we wear. For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your Heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble”.
If God says not to worry, then we are not to worry. Let us get on with life and give grateful thanks and praise. By being in a constant state of gratitude it is difficult to worry and have a meltdown. Make the choice to have a thankful frame of mind no matter what happens because these life lessons are for our growth. This has been a very good lesson to learn and one to always keep in mind. Do we really want to be like Jonah or like Jesus Christ? The answer is clear.