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We need to stop and closely examine our motivations when making choices
In the book of Deuteronomy Chapter 30 we are told by Moses that God wholeheartedly desires for His people to make right choices...and to draw near to Him, even to cling to Him, because by doing so, we show God our love for Him and His ways.
After having such a blessed physical and spiritual Feast of Tabernacles (Leviticus 23:33-44) in comparison with the one previous, I have stopped to analyse how such a difference could occur.
Since 2007 there have been 11 feast experiences. All have been different with clear messages from God about what I need to work on, improve, change, and a sense of how I am progressing spiritually.
What I have come to notice is that I can be easily influenced by others, distracted, caught up in Feast fever, and wanting to please my spiritual and physical family.
In 2014 I did something completely different. Because of the internal struggle experienced the previous year, and the massive trial of terror prior to the Feast, I was not in a good position mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, even though I thought I was. My focus had been on the physical instead of the spiritual. Clearly, in hindsight, I could see my heart was not right; no wonder I had such a huge internal struggle. I found this very ironic. Not once had I consulted God, and in fact I somehow managed to put Him to one side and harden my heart so that I could do what I wanted. (Jeremiah 17:9)
This time I prayed, fasted, and talked to God about where I should go. I asked for guidance and told Him I wanted to go where I could be used by Him or where I was needed the most. Only God would know this.
I received the same answer all year from about the time of Passover. Throughout the holy day season God was working with me to ensure I heard His message and that I wouldn't get in the way, which I have a habit of doing.
Pre Feast Preparations
I had been blessed with more or less full time work over the past 12 months and could have travelled pretty much anywhere my heart desired. I have been to the USA (Bend, Oregon 2009) and Europe (France in 2011 when the Lukers joined us) to attend the Feast of Tabernacles and very much enjoyed my time there. Having a few days before and after the feast to explore and sight-see was pleasurable.
It just wasn't my motivation any more to go where I wanted to go...there are just so many choices. I like having choices but when faced with that many, I found it to be somewhat difficult. It would be much easier for me to be told what to do and where to go. For me, that's simple and the easier option. However, God does indeed give us choices to see what we will choose and He examines why we choose what we do -- the inner motivations of our hearts (Jeremiah 17:10).
I appreciate that God tells us to give 10% of our increase (Deuteronomy 14:22-29). Yes we can give more if we are willing but it is really comforting for me to know exactly what God expects. A benchmark if you like. Something concrete. A standard. We can always go over this amount if able to and give free will offerings.
I like to be told by God what is best for me; I reason it is because of all the wrong choices I made for almost 5 decades. I found my motivation to be wanting to please Father because of the miraculous healing of my child, the blessings of work I know only He was able to give me, and the way He intimately works in my life day by day in so many ways.
The joy and peace given by God through His mercy to me when others are in turmoil, and to see so many work colleagues, friends, family, and neighbours around me suffer from poor choices is very sobering and humbling.
Observations on Feast of Tabernacles Blessings
And so I attended a feast site where I could be with a person who had come close to death that year and more than once I thought he may die. This person patiently suffered for many months and endured gruelling surgeries after developing complications and medical issues. It was during this time I realised just how much I had come to value him as a mentor, a friend, a brother in the faith, and the one who always welcomed my phone calls when God first called me out of the world and there were no brethren in UCG to speak with where I lived. In fact I came to realise he was probably the most like a loving physical father that I had not experienced prior to my conversion. This man had baptised me only a few years before.
As we sat around the dining table in various restaurants it did my heart glad to see my brother be able to rejoice at that year's Feast with good food, good wine, and good fellowship. It caused me to think of the future when all those we no longer have with us like Denny Luker (Past President of UCG) will be reunited and joined as one in a great banquet (Matthew 22, Revelation 19) with Jesus Christ before our almighty Father. The degree of celebration on this occasion can only be imagined with the present limited ability of our finite brain capacity. How exciting and beautiful that occasion will be.
Every day I can say with confidence that that year's Feast of Tabernacles was full of peace, joy, love and every fruit of God's spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) so much so that it was most difficult to leave, but leave we must until we meet again.
Our time is short and there is no knowing who we will be able to share next year's Feast with or even that we will be there ourselves. Only God knows these things. May we all look to God in all our decisions and choices because if we do that then we cannot go wrong.