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This is a topic that some may not relate to personally but know of a person, perhaps a family member whether physical or spiritual, work colleague or friend, who has had or is presently experiencing the awful and sad consequences of depression. Many famous people such as Winston Churchill have suffered with the effects of this debilitating illness and if anyone ever had cause to be depressed it would have been the Prime Minister of England when World War II with Adolf Hitler leading the insane death machine threatened to take over the whole world, and not just parts of Europe beginning with the Jewish people. Churchill referred to depression as "the black dog" which gives me a picture of a savage Rottweiler rather than a passive black Labrador. My personal experience some years ago gave me another, different image which came to be known as "the black blanket" because it was all encompassing as the huge, thick cloak began to engulf, smother, block and overtake my whole personage. If you are currently not yourself with unfamiliar feelings of "what's the use" or "why bother" or "everybody would be better off without me" which translates into daily life operating like a robot bereft of joy or emotion, then this is what depression is like — going through the motions but not wanting or being able to participate in life fully. If it wasn't for being a single parent with a huge mortgage at the time I may very well have curled up in the foetal position in bed while rocking back and forth to soothe my mental pain, and only surfaced now and again when going out for supplies and the Sabbath.
Operating within a shell of a body carrying out tasks was my state for some time. This was set off by persecution at work where nothing I did pleased my boss. As she screamed and yelled at me out of control with other staff members sometimes witnessing this harrassment, the workload kept increasing until she tried to break me. A few staff would warn me and "had my back" as we had a really good relationship. They were astonished at the way she relentlessly hounded me and struggled to comprehend the reasons why. One day my boss said to me "I don't know what it is but there is something different about you and I can't figure it out" even though she knew I could not work Friday evenings/nights, Saturdays and the 7 annual holy days on God's calendar. Somehow she was not able to make the connection, however I knew the reason was that I was a Christian, a follower of Christ, always respectful towards her and carried the workload of 2 staff in trying to please her, yet it was always for God. It was like fighting the devil with me trying to make myself invisible by my own strength. It didn't work of course and in a brief moment of clarity my resignation was tendered from a position I worked so hard in and had gained many wonderful relationships with staff, patients, and the doctors who visited each week. In hindsight it was the best thing to do but it was very scary at the time as mentally I was broken, self-doubt and insecurity threatened to overtake my usual cheerful disposition, was unable to make good decisions for myself, and operated on auto-pilot through all the confusion and stress put upon me. As things progressively became worse, depression took over completely and the day I sat in front of a counsellor with a full score showing I had the deepest, darkest depression — that gave me a jolt and much needed perspective in order to start the process of healing. Some of my thoughts were "how could this be happening to me?" It seemed so strangely weird, like it was happening to somebody else but it wasn't! I sat there in a quandary wondering what to do.
Accepting reality was the starting point. Leaving a very toxic environment was like lifting a huge weight around my neck. I no longer felt like a captured insect under glass being shaken and battered, tossed to and fro, unable to escape. It was the right decision but it took quite some time to get there as depression with inability to discern correctly for myself got in the way. In my personal life, even though I pushed others away, there was just one person who saw the signs of silent despair in front of them. All it took was for one person to see, understand and help in order to start building a raft to safety. That person had empathy and had been through major depression at some stage in their life so he saw the signs in me of which I was completely clueless. This Christian man made a huge impact in my life and I know he contributed to saving my life by restoring me to good health again. There is no doubt in my mind that God sent him to Adelaide for a limited time and just when I needed help, but did not ask for it. Some of us have way too much pride and do not like to ask for help because that is the way we grew up trying to do it all by toughening up, especially after the death of one parent in my case, but God knew that of course so He sent somebody who could relate. Even with major depression I had pride. One might think if we lost all our joy and happiness and were numb to how we feel then surely there would be no pride left — but there was! Is pride the last thing to leave us? Quite possibly true, as our carnal human nature is so strongly ingrained.
During this nightmare in the beginning stages of when God called me I came to learn through listening to sermons that no matter how bad we might feel there is always someone worse off. Now this news did not help me feel better as this was tragic too but it put things into perspective and gave me a gentle reality check. As I listened to the various speakers it became apparent that the wisdom they imparted was that it takes "baby steps" daily, bit by bit, little by little, in order to have a healthy attitude and mind again. That made sense to me and so I started to do small things for others and began to feel more and more empowered. Surprisingly this was much easier to achieve without a persecutor ripping into me like a tidal wave over the course of 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Thinking about this very dark time in my life I definitely should have relinquished my job much earlier but when we are damaged so significantly without family to help I found it easier to stay put and do nothing as there was no confidence in making the right decision. Perspective is everything for we need wisdom in making good decisions and this comes from God. It took a few more years for me to trust God implicitly and an even worse trial before I understood that God is always there, sees all, knows all, can be trusted fully no matter how disastrous things get physically, mentally or emotionally, and spiritually. This breakthrough came eventually and is what I desperately needed in order to overcome the black blanket of depression which occasionally rears its ugly head now and again. Since then I am now able to recognise it in its infancy stage and immediately do something about it WITH God to squash any semblance of depressive thoughts and feelings. Fasting and prayer have indeed become my lifeline because they work and God never lets us down.
God certainly got my attention and slowed me down from operating on automatic mode because that felt like a freight train running out of control. I was headed nowhere and could have ended up off the rails. Thankfully He rescued me with scripture such as "be still and know that I am God…" in Psalm 46:10 and by strengthening myself through Him in Philippians 4:13. This relationship with my Creator was in its infancy and I take no credit for the way God rescued me out of the world, and from myself within His Church for there were many tough times to learn and grow from after conversion for almost 50 years of baggage was a heavy load to carry and it had to be left behind. There was no going back for me; now it was all or nothing and the "all" was chosen as God had shown me how He can miraculously intervene over and over again despite the terrible situations we find ourselves in. Depression taught me through God's lense that we cannot just participate in life thinking we are coping when the sad reality is that we are not able to do anything on our own power or by our own might. The sooner we go to God the better. Sounds simple enough to a healthy converted mind but it seems like depression creates a huge maze around us threatening to block our sight and our ability to make wise decisions. Just know God will always help but we must be willing to share everything and not hold things back like I did while paralysed through fear. Fear can be so encompassing and sneaky, getting us to think we are safe if we put certain measures in place. But no, we can only be safe when we are close to God and include Him in all that we think, as well as what we say and do. A calm, measured journey through the Psalms provides much benefit in learning from David's thoughts, words, and actions when he went through relentless trials during all those years whilst being pursued and hunted down by his enemies for his life (Psalm 18:1-3, Psalm 118:6).
Immerse yourself in the Bible and in talking to God like He is your best friend for He desires us to be healthy and eager to tell Him everything. I also learnt that He waits patiently to hear our concerns, our joys, our sadness, and everything in between. He does not force us to share anything but instead wants us to come to Him much like an excited child runs to their parents in order to say things that are important to them. Depression to me was the absence of anything worthwhile like joy and excitement. The only one who wants us depressed is the devil, our enemy, and he steals our joy repeatedly unless we are ready with Ephesians 6:10-18. As is the usual way God works in my life, He provides me with topics to write about and gives titles first in order to inspire me. Then a new sermon/sermonette appears on the ucg.org member's site just as it did after writing the article in order to provide support and help those who need the help. I have no clue about how many of those are out there in Facebookland who would benefit from this topic — all I know is that God knows and trusting His direction is always not just beneficial but exactly the right way to go.
Below, you will find links for two sermons fresh off The United Church of God online website with helpful biblical references for all to listen to and study from as the odds are increasing that there is someone quietly going through the black dog of depression who repeatedly rejects offers to socialise by pushing people away but is suffering silently. God can work through anyone to help others and this includes you, me, and all those who care. We just need to be willing to care for those who have lost the will to care for themselves as depression robs us of that. For those depressed, do not let the enemy, the devil, take another hour of your day for he tries to steal our joy from us of what God gives to us through the death of His Son, Jesus Christ, who even died for us while we were still in an unrepentant sinful state so that we may have life and have it more abundantly as scripture says in the following references found in Romans 5:8 and John 10:10. https://www.ucg.org/sermons/gods-joy-stratgey https://www.ucg.org/sermons/life-isnt-fair Let this be a starting point on the path to healing for there are a wealth of sermons on the topic of depression in order for anyone to access in their study to help self or others get back on track with the healthy mindset God has created and given to you. God is not only our Wonderful Creator, Sustainer of life, Master Provider and Perfect Protector, but is also the ultimate and most Marvellous Counsellor anyone could ever have as stated in Isaiah 9:6, Psalm 32:8, and Psalm 119:24.