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Dedicated to Jimbeaux the Love of my Life for the occasion of our 6th Wedding Anniversary on
Have you ever been completely blind to a fault you may have had causing pain and suffering to others? It took repeated behaviour over some time until eventually a jolt woke you up to the fact that there must be something wrong; then finally you came to accept that it was indeed yourself who needed to take ownership, responsibility and accountability for your wrongful actions. If you know what I am addressing here then you have had a hard lesson to learn. If not, then imagine the plight of a completely clueless person who may be juggling many things in their life quite well, but there was one thing that challenged them to the point of recognising change needed to occur and they could no longer keep on going as they were. This happened to Paul (Hebrew name of Saul) who repeatedly persecuted Christians with full zeal and fervour to annihilate and destroy them mercilessly. God gave him a wake up jolt on the road to Damascus as we read from scripture in Acts 9. If ever there was a man who needed to change dramatically it was Paul. God gave him great mercy and forgiveness because once Paul knew he was fighting against God he then allowed himself to be transformed into a disciple full of zeal for good works. What a wonderful account of change, mercy and forgiveness.
Another example from the Bible about forgiveness is the one found in Luke 15 where we can see the parable of the lost son known to us as the prodigal son. Here we have a father who had lost his son to the ways of the world. When the son eventually returned to his father because he was "down and out" with nothing and nowhere to go there was great joy, acceptance, provision, restoration, and celebration with love, mercy, and forgiveness freely given. The father rejoiced with his son as if he had been dead to him but was now found — they had a further opportunity to develop a healthy relationship together. Another wonderful account with a happy ending. Imagine if we were the son in this case and had rejected our father insolently thinking we could make our own way in this world, enticed by seeking fortune and indulging in questionable and wrongful activities while relying on our own abilities. After squandering all the funds and living rough on the streets, starving for food, alone and penniless, we then came to our senses that life back home was good — it was actually really good but would we be able to go back only to be rejected? Could we resume things where we left off? The prodigal son was prepared to humble himself and accept even the role of a servant understanding that he was not worthy of sonship. Would our father receive us back again or tell us to "hit the road" and be on our way because we had rejected his ways and rebelled against him? When we do not get our own way do we have a heart for rebellion? This type of attitude surely reminds us of the devil.
Our Father is always willing and waiting patiently for any one of us to go to Him to seek His help, forgiveness, mercy and love. The profoundly beautiful and powerful way God forgives us by extending mercy is exactly what we need in order to desire to want to change. Without this we would have insecurity, doubt, lacking faith and trust in God's leadership thereby justifying to ourselves that it isn't even worth trying because our hearts are so deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9). Remember Psalm 103:11-14 "For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust". So for us it is absolutely vital and necessary to develop fear, healthy fear which translates into awe, the deepest respect for our Creator (Deuteronomy 10:12-13) remembering that our righteous acts are as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6) yet we have an incredible potential only because He is willing to work with us in order to finish us (Philippians 1:6) into glorious vessels designed and sculptured by the skilled, strong and capable hands of the masterful Master Potter (Jeremiah 18:1-4). This is just one of the lessons that Job learned so well all those thousands of years ago through much needed self-examination (Job 40:1-5; 42:1-6).
Mercy and forgiveness is powerful. It is a considered choice and within our ability to extend this to those who have sinned against us. How profound it is, especially when the sin is so hurtful and has been repeated many times over, or in such a way as to cause great pain by breaking a loved one's heart. We can change by humbling ourselves and asking for God's help in prayer, being attentive by listening closely, reading carefully from His Word, and then making conscious and thoughtful preparations which flow through to our words and actions. Perhaps we may feel quite overwhelmed and have no idea where to start — no matter, for God will show you because He always knows where to start, what is best for us and between all those we have meaningful relationships with, just like the people in the above account of the Prodigal Son, and Saul who became Paul — then there is also the account of the woman caught in the sinful act of adultery, refer to John 8:1-11. The important takeaway here is that we are to actively get on with life, not living in or dwelling on the past, and also to take heed or notice by paying careful attention from the words of Jesus when he said to the adulteress "sin no more". This requires the change we must make in order to become like Christ. There is no time like now to affect this process of transformation so we need to go to those who we have troubled relationships with and make the change we must enable in order to please our heavenly Father who desires that we ensure peace between all to achieve restoration and unity. You will understand how to live and interact meaningfully with others from many examples in the Bible for there are plenty more to consider and learn from.
In summary, forgiveness is something we all seek at various stages in our lives and we may remember that we were asked by parents or grandparents to forgive our brother or sister for breaking or losing one of our toys we so cherished, for example. We were upset and even angry at the time yet we forgave them because they were little/younger than us/only a baby and did not do it on purpose. Accidents happen, items and objects are just that — things, only things that usually can be replaced quite easily. Relationships are harder to restore especially when we live far away or the person is no longer living. Therefore we should go to our brother or sister, family member, friend and/or neighbour and start this process without hesitation. It can begin with a sincere "sorry" even if you think you are in the right, the word sorry is an incredible icebreaker showing our willingness to put things right again but we must follow through in, with, and by our actions. Think of all the time wasted without healthy interaction and communication between each other. Guess who enjoys this separation?
Yes it is the invisible enemy, the devil, our Adversary, the wicked and evil monster who will do anything and everything to ensure it throws many roadblocks in the way to cause rifts and misunderstandings through its diabolical interference and meddling. He wants us to think we are each other's enemy by influencing our attitudes. Do not give him that satisfaction by playing into his hands thinking "poor me" or worse still that you are right and the other person is wrong therefore you stand your ground. Does it really matter? Swallow your pride and be the best person you can be by taking the lead and resist that ugly pride. We all seek and want mercy and forgiveness extended to us therefore show it to others as we develop righteous character. After all God did not condemn the woman caught in adultery, nor does He condemn us when we sin but He does want repentance and change. Life is short, there is truly no time for regrets, do not let the devil put a stumbling block between you and others, instead use wise discernment and do not fall for satan's traps as all these things are distractions and designed to cause separation between self and others, and even more concerningly, between us and our heavenly Father and His Son, our Saviour. We are presently in the time of self reflection and examination prior to attending the next annual Passover therefore it is high time to forgive, forget, exercise mercy and love to gain true peace and full joy through the transformative effects of listening to and obeying God's Holy Spirit, our Helper (Matthew 5:23-24).