Have you ever wondered whom you may be most like? Are you a Mary or are you a Martha? Perhaps you may even be a combination of both?

Reading the Holy Bible is such a delightful joy. We have been blessed with the privilege of this wonderfully inspired and supernaturally written book — our manual for life — by God. There are so many accounts and examples for us to learn from. Discovering how those who went before us lived, the choices they made, the trials they endured, and the challenges along the way, is really incredibly exciting, even quite thrilling at times.

I marvel at how similar I am to some people in both the Old and New Testaments, while recognising I have more in common with certain men and women as opposed to maybe having only one personality trait from others. Invariably, I can relate to them all in some way. Do you shake your head at some of the choices made? Do you tell yourself...”Oh I wouldn’t have done that!” Maybe you nod and think to yourself...”Yes, I would do the exact same thing!” However you cringe at this knowledge but can’t deny it. Readers, do you meditate on these sorts of things too? While we may not like to admit it to ourselves at times, we do indeed have some valuable lessons to learn from everyone in God’s word.

From the start of my calling God gave me the gift of hospitality for several years and I eagerly threw myself into this role wholeheartedly. Nothing was too much trouble for my spiritual family. Meanwhile my physical family had abandoned me believing I was part of a cult. This made it very easy to treat my spiritual family well as that truly was all the family I had who were willing to relate to me for quite some time.

From all this serving someone said to me “You are like Martha!” I recoiled immediately and remarked pointedly that I was not! Realisation set in quickly that I was irritated by this comment. Never mind that scripture clearly points out that Martha was loved by Jesus Christ (John 11:5). Quite some time later the same person brought this subject up again. This time I could confidently but politely say with poise and restraint that I was a combination of the two. Since that initial comment I had had some time to reflect on my character and behaviour. In the meantime God was directing me to achieve a balance. So I embarked on a study into the lives of two women who knew Christ.

Two Sisters at Bethany; One Was Distracted While The Other One Was Focused!

The main story of Martha and Mary is given in Luke 10:38-42. It is interesting to see that in verse 40 we can read that Martha “was distracted with much serving”. This is the key to the problem. Much serving indicates that the serving was “over the top”. Martha somehow wanted to “people please”. There is nothing wrong in wanting to provide lovely food for one’s guests; however the way we go about it is the key to whether much time is taken up. We must ask ourselves “Is this realistic?” People pleasing involves a degree of pride. The choices Martha made may have had unspoken expectations attached to them. Perhaps Martha had not asked or even communicated with Mary prior to the gathering regarding who would take over each particular duty. It would seem that Martha expected Mary to help out drawing from previous experience. There is certainly a lot here for the reader to consider.

We cannot assume anything but it is fascinating to contemplate all the possibilities in this story. We know they did not have refrigerators in those times and this can affect the way food was served and stored. However it does not seem to be a stretch to say that a fair amount of preparation was involved and this caused Martha’s time to be taken up quite considerably to the point she found herself unable to sit down, relax, and take in fully of Christ’s teachings.

Martha wanted to sit down and listen to Jesus speak but she also wanted to cook and serve well. Clearly the desire was there, hence her great frustration. As the realisation set in that it was not likely to happen — that she could sit down to enjoy the interactions between her guests — Martha became more and more frustrated because she realised that time was running out and there was no help forthcoming from where she expected. Martha did not ask Mary to help but asked Jesus to intervene instead. This indicates quite a close relationship between Martha and Christ, as Martha expected Jesus to “be on her side” by providing that support.

Form or Substance?

I think we can all agree that Martha expected Jesus to tell Mary to help her. When this was not forthcoming Martha would have had to examine why He did not do so. There is nothing to say there was a heated exchange or any offense taken, but at the conclusion of the matter we are led to believe that Martha learnt from Jesus that she needed balance in her life in order to gain the “good” things. The spiritual things that are even more important than food and drink (Romans 14:16-18).

If we put God first (Matthew 6:33) we know that He will take care of the rest. As the apostle Paul put it so eloquently...”For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10).

So, the thing is, we need to get wisdom. As Proverbs 2:6-9 states “For the LORD gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding; He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; He guards the paths of justice, and preserves the way of His saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice, equity and every good path”.

We are to emulate Christ. Christ would have used wisdom and ensured that the physical things were taken care of but not at the expense of the spiritual matters.

Take heart and resolve to provide healthy nourishment in all instances of fellowship and hospitality. Plan ahead to sit down, relax, and really enjoy the rich spiritual nourishment you will obtain from these occasions. Without all members engaging in this, others will be deficient of your input. We all have so much to give and share from our lives in order to get to know one another more fully. The bonding that can be achieved in these end times is incredibly valuable.

I hear you ask...”What about the physical food?” If everyone brings something then the food takes care of itself. How many times have we marvelled that the potlucks are balanced with such a wonderful variety of good foods? And to think nobody even knew what the other one was bringing along. But God knew. He may have put it on your heart to bring what you did without you even realising it.

We can be like Martha in putting others before ourselves (Philippians 2:3, Colossians 3:23, Galatians 6:10) that is commendable. We can also be like Mary too (Luke 10:42, John 11:2). If we work away at this we will get there to be the very best we can be knowing that Jesus the Christ and God the Father are ever watchful and leading us through the Holy Spirit, our Helper (John 14:16, 26).