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Have you heard the expression "Never complain, never explain?" The only time that I can remember is from reading information about royalty, in particular the late Queen Elizabeth II. However since doing a little research online it has come to my attention that this term has been used by others and interestingly from a 19th Century British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli who was thought of highly by Queen Victoria also adopting this adage. Thus it has been handed down and has had significant influence from the Queen Mother to her eldest daughter Queen Elizabeth II, and from daughter to son who is now the present king. However, the next generation have not followed their example in self control and prudent behaviour for the most part. These traits are ones that need to be worked on daily in order to establish wisdom and where can one find wisdom these days? (Romans 11:33). Where it has always been in healthy amounts just right to lead us through the potential minefield that comes with this life — from between the covers and pages of the Holy Bible which is packed full of wisdom, and for the young beginning with the book of Proverbs. This would suggest that most people do not even bother opening their Bibles to read them while others may say they are far too busy, while some may not even have a Bible. There is an expression that is a good one from Mr. Herbert W. Armstrong "blow the dust off your Bible…" and this is what I would like to reiterate here and now, but will anyone have a heart for it? There will be some as God knows exactly what He has in mind.
The Bible says things a bit differently therefore never complaining or explaining comes under the banner of not indulging oneself through self justification. This is just one of the themes repeated in our most precious book of life, our instruction manual on how to live through many examples of what not to do, and even more importantly, what we should do. Complaining is after all telling others things are not fair and we know the originator of this diabolical manifesto is none other than the devil when he rebelled and falsely accused God of not being fair. Not one of God's elect want to be anything like our enemy therefore this should be enough for us to make an immediate and very wide exit away from his evil character. While a particular situation may well and truly not be fair, as children we readily voiced our reactions to things out of our control especially when we felt "hard done by", and parents either fixed the issue to our satisfaction or we were told to cope with it. Many times we were told to stop whinging. All part of our learning that life is sometimes not fair despite wanting everything put right — how else will we ever develop righteous character including self-control?
When I think of complaining it is easy to identify this in others and an early example is from the Israelites when they left Egypt (Exodus 16). They saw incredible miracles such as the Red Sea standing up as a heap of water either side of them so that they could walk through on dry ground as it is written from Exodus 14:21-22 in order to escape those who enslaved and treated them cruelly as if their lives did not matter. If this was not enough God gave them manna to eat and all they had to do was to go outside and gather it up as He instructed them for there was plenty for everyone (Psalm 78:24-25). Then there was the matter of requiring water in the wilderness and this did not turn out well for Moses (Numbers 20). Even so, many scriptures show God's love, mercy, kindness, goodness, patience, longsuffering, and provision for His people despite their complaints and murmuring, taking out their frustrations on Moses who went before God on their behalf (Nehemiah 9:20, Isaiah 48:21, Isaiah 49:10). Yet they complained over and over again with doubt questioning whether God could even meet their immediate needs as if He was weak or incapable. Humans have this tendency of limiting God but it must not be so amongst us. Complaining can be very ugly and from the above example we can read that God certainly thought so (Numbers 11:1, 10).
What about explaining? As children we were brought up to explain ourselves when we did something less than savoury. It would seem right to explain why we did such and such an action especially to our parents when we were young and called to give an account. As converted adults there is nothing wrong with explaining but it must be done in the appropriate context — in prayer to God. Get counsel with Him. Perhaps a sincere and ready apology may be warranted to another person if the situation calls for this. It all depends on what is going on. This reminds me of a time not that long ago when there was another who was quite angry with me over an interaction via texting on our mobile phones. After coming home it was late in the evening when a sequence of repetitive messages were initiated asking me to explain myself. Receiving these one by one questioning me why I did what I did was surprising, but without thinking I happily explained myself knowing my intentions were good. However things did not go well which was out of my realm of understanding. In hindsight this should have been done over a coffee or cup of tea and definitely face to face while we quietly and respectfully listened to one another. Easy to say in hindsight but at the time there were obviously issues from the other party which left the person wanting an explanation. It never would have occurred to me that anyone could take offense at my decision to give something to another from my own resources. Nevertheless they were upset and it seemed as though they were offended. It went well only because an apology was given even though my explanations were the truth and it was really none of the other person's business.
Next time, if there is a next time, things will be handled differently by not giving any explanations at all, for this was a mistake and justifying what we do and why we do it is best left with God and only with Him, for He knows the true intentions of our hearts. Others can be blinded by jealousy and their carnal human nature which needs to be taken to God also. He is our great Counsellor and isn't it amazing how many times we can go before God puzzled, troubled, distressed or upset with many anxieties and dilemmas only to stand again in peace knowing God knows best. Philippians 2:14 says "Do all things without complaining and disputing". Ephesians 4:29 says "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers". Simple and effective. The lesson needed in my case came from the teachings of Jesus Christ, who gives us a most excellent example in Matthew 20:1-16 where we can read the parable about the workers in the vineyard. Finally, we will do well to always remember to give thanks in everything we do (1 Thessalonians 5:18).