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Offenses will come and offenses will go because humans are human and make mistakes. We may offend another or others with no intention of doing so, and this can come about because of not thinking through all the ramifications connected to our decisions which are based on our free will choices. Being spontaneous can get us into trouble even with good intentions. Therefore it is wise to consider our intentions and pray to our Father first as He can make the way straight and smooth. Those with God's Holy Spirit desire peace and do not want to upset or cause any division, and yet offenses still occur as we think we accurately see and hear what is in front of us, but this is not always the case. Therefore, we should all pray for wisdom and discernment. Deliberately causing an offense is another matter entirely as this involves a malicious heart, one with evil intent likely involving revenge or punishment, and the world is full of it.
We need to make a concerted effort to prevent any offense we can, as scripture reveals in Romans 12:18 "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. The thing is it does take effort, consideration for those around us, and a willing heart with outgoing love for others. It is always good to go to the Bible and see God's thoughts and instructions on any particular topic that affects us in life and that certainly includes offenses. Proverbs 19:11 says "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense" (English Standard Version). It is character building not to take things personally and shrug it off like "water on a duck's back" but if we are sensitive then we get hurt easily. If we had a choice would we prefer to be offended and take it as Proverbs 19:11 highlights, or offend others? Most of us would choose to take the offense even though we may feel upset and hard done by, while some would say it depends what it is. Things are harder when we may perceive that the situation is not an accident and the offense was caused deliberately. Even so, we need to emulate the character of Christ and forgive readily. Why is it so hard to give others the benefit of the doubt? It becomes more readily attainable with practice, yet there will be times of shock when blindsided especially when offenses occur in public. The best solution for me to react as Christ would respond, is thinking about how Jesus was treated so wickedly, even though He was sinless and the best example of outgoing love to others. Works every time.
Imagine causing offense over something that is out of wanting goodness for another. Even this can stir up feelings of unease as others may have opposing views on how to handle the matter. We are all different and see ways of bringing about a desire through life's experiences we have had, and therefore we look at situations with a different lens or perspective. The thing is, try as we might, it is not possible to please everyone. God knows the intentions of our hearts and will give us exactly the right way according to principles found in scripture for any situation in life. This is the way forward and gives comfort and peace for edification. Our part is consulting God first and presenting all the details, leaving nothing out so He knows everything in our heart and mind. God knows it anyway but wants us to be forthcoming as a beloved child shares and tells all to their adored mother and father. We should not be surprised while praying on our knees when He gives us His input, His solution that suddenly comes to mind. Yet I admit to being constantly surprised by the incredible sheer genius and the solution provided, as it is always perfect leaving me thinking "now why didn't I think of that?" God is the best problem solver in the world, and He loves to interact with us by helping us. There is nothing like it, and to think the majority of my life was lived in spiritual ignorance prior to knowing God. No wonder I made so many mistakes by doing what I thought best.
This leads us to what do we do if we cause an offense without even trying? The word sorry with genuine meaning comes to mind. Once we know this has occurred then we must take the time and effort to rectify the situation. Even if we know that we would not be offended by whatever has affected others, there must be a reconciliation to put things right again. If both parties do their part then this should happen quite quickly. Remember, we are all responsible for what God asks of us, as stated in Romans 12:18 and Proverbs 19:11. What is rather sobering to keep in mind is scripture found in Matthew 18:7 "Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!" Similarly, in Luke 17:1 "Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!" Woe is a word that immediately grabs my attention and gives me great unease, and is used strongly in Matthew 23 where Jesus Christ gives repetitive warning.
If ever anyone had cause to be offended it would be Jesus Christ. Despite how wickedly Christ was treated by those in the world, His final words ring clearly in my heart and mind "Forgive them Father, for they do not know what they do" (Luke 23:34). Do we take the time to meditate upon these words and consider the magnitude of Christ's mercy, forgiveness and love? We really must be cognisant of all those around us and attempt to do the very best we can to be inoffensive. This can be achieved but only if we have a teachable and humble mindset wanting transformation to be like Christ. Here is a link to a sermon which gave me much food for thought about how we think, why others may think differently to us, and what we should do about this by conducting our behaviour appropriately. There is lots to work on in order to become Christ-like, so we continue learning more about ourselves and those around us in order to promote peace and harmony while living in a world that is largely ignorant of how to live peacefully with others. We have God's Holy Spirit therefore we are to be the example to all those around us by following in Christ's footsteps as it were, emulating the very best example we have been given. Let us put away all the stumbling blocks, hurt feelings, and self pride from poor communication and any misunderstandings. For this is what we have been called out of the world to do. They may think we are weak and not understand, but they will appreciate our efforts. Wasn't Jesus accused and thought of as weak? Yet He was anything but weak. The world was not ready for Him to come the first time and definitely won't be ready for His return, but let us ensure that we will be and prepare now to earnestly and effectively practice living peacefully with all men (Romans 12:18).
https://www.ucg.org/sermons/taking-gods-perspective