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Last week was packed full of highs and lows, and with shocks and surprises too. Blessings of financial aid while unable to work and provided surprisingly swiftly from government departments that warned of extra delays due to COVID (which did not happen) were welcomed. Being able to help family out in a situation that caused them considerable distress and which exacerbated their physical ailments was especially nice as it meant so much to them. Enjoying a long walk on our beautifully clean beaches in South Australia with blessings of a gorgeously mild day with temperatures conducive to being outdoors was especially nice. Although, after an hour or so and despite being only 25 degrees Celsius we still managed to get a little sunburnt, however it was minor and the effects quickly dissipated. Boosting Vitamin D levels the natural way was a special treat for me after many years at work within 4 walls during the better part of daylight hours. Clocking up in excess of 10,000 steps on my trusty Fitbit watch helped move the old circulation, raised oxygen saturation, and reduced high blood glucose levels. Sometimes being ill can mean that the symptoms of nausea, pain, dizziness, and exhaustion can cause a vicious cycle of not being able to go for any sort of walk outside despite the best of intentions.
Another highlight was being able to relax leisurely outdoors to enjoy my favourite meal for an al fresco dining experience after unwrapping the fish ‘n chip shop paper to reveal that the King George Whiting was cooked to perfection — suffice to say that this was one occasion I did not share any with the local birdlife — those noisy, pesky seagulls have always had a special place in my heart since I could walk and talk. During my formative years a lot of my leisure time was mostly spent on the beach. The pleasure of the sea water, fresh air, seagulls, seashells, sand, jetties, sunshine and the sounds of the surf, gave me some of my greatest physical joy. The great outdoors just lifts my whole demeanour dramatically and the beachside soars it to further heights of the greatest happiness obtainable as my most preferred outing choice designed and made by our Creator. Oh to live by the beach! Wouldn’t it be wonderful?!
My life consists of what happens or transpires between Sabbaths (sunset Friday to sunset Saturday). This cycle is the best cycle there could ever be because God made it and gave it to us to benefit from and enjoy. Throughout this “week that was” we were also able to have other walks during our weekdays but the beach walk was the longest and it took me the rest of the week to recover from. Even though I felt like I had abundant energy it was short-lived and then the following days were very challenging to do much at all. My spirit was willing to beach walk every day but the flesh was weak and wanted no part of it. I guess that is what having Adrenal Fatigue is like and when combined with an autoimmune disease of Lupus, then adding the dreaded disease of Diabetes Mellitus into the mix, I am now beginning to expect the unexpected with my health status.
At the end of the day when all is said and done, my faith has been increased knowing that God is my Master Healer and whatever He decides to do for me in this physical age, I am totally content with it. Whether His will is in healing me now I do not know but I will be healed in God’s exact time which is so perfect to know, and this gives me the deepest peace any human could ever have. Whatever the extent of this Adrenal lesion or growth is that I am told I have, I know God can zap it immediately or at any time. If not, then it will run its course and what will be, will be. There will be no interference from me — no chemotherapy, radiotherapy or invasive procedures. Rather ironic that the prefix “chemo” and “radio” are combined with the suffix of “therapy” because they are anything but considered therapy to this nurse after a 30+ year career in the medical field. I have seen a lot, not everything, but quite a lot. My mum died of cancer, one of the most horrendous deaths I could ever have imagined back in 1974. The treatments then were being pioneered on her and others which burnt her insides due to “overkill” on full admission by the medicos. Knowing the terrible and excruciating pain she must have gone through is gut wrenching and soul destroying, yet she was far too advanced when her diagnosis was made to have survived and would have died anyway. Poor mum did not stand a chance. Watching her die was one of the hardest things I have had to endure as a child.
If I need any procedures such as blood there will be no blood transfusions for me as God says “the life is in the blood” (Leviticus 17:11,14) and there is not one example in the Bible of anyone giving blood via a blood transfusion to save another life. Jesus Christ gave His blood for all via His death by shedding His blood, not giving it through any medical procedure (1 Corinthians 6:20). Humans love to intervene attempting to save their life by any means. It is a strong force inbuilt in us to live on whatever the cost. Ironically many have died this way. A well known scripture comes to mind from Mark 8:34 “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it”. My life was turned over to God upon baptism over 14 years ago and it is His to take any time He chooses just like it is His to give life. The Bible tells us in Psalm 90:10 “The days of our lives are seventy years; and if by reason of strength they are eighty years, yet their boast is only labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away”.
My sister told me this past “week that was” of the story of a man named Steve McQueen who underwent surgery, only to die mere hours afterwards. She had watched a TV documentary about his life and found the circumstances of his death disturbing yet fascinating. Here is a link which provides comprehensive coverage of his life for interested readers: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_McQueen. There will be no surgery for me. The only healing I desire comes straight from God, not man. I have very little trust in man. God tells us to put our trust in Him rather than man (Psalm 118:8). We all have free will to choose whatever each desires and the choice is ours. My choice is for God to heal me and to wait for when this is to occur. For most of my life I have taken matters into my own hands with every choice made in my life but upon baptism I no longer believe in taking matters into my own hands and for me, it shows lack of faith. God can do anything (Matthew 19:26, Mark 10:27, Luke 1:37, Genesis 18:14, Job 42:4, and Jeremiah 32:17) and He will keep me alive if needed. The peace I have in this is incredible. It truly is a blessing (John 14:27, Philippians 4:7, Colossians 3:15).
Ironically I was a blood donor before conversion and wore my badge proudly. Also indicated on my driver's license that I was an organ donor too. For a brief time I worked in my local hospital as a theatre nurse where surgeries were routinely performed day after day involving transplants, abortions, and other procedures I now no longer want any part of. After conversion I changed completely to line up with God’s Word and removed these choices. What was I thinking?! I was thinking without the benefit of God’s knowledge and wisdom. We all have a choice and for me I have proved to myself without any shadow of a doubt that God does not approve of these measures in any way, shape or form. He wants living faith, meek and humble servants who look to Him for their protection, provision, and healing. He knows what human beings are capable of even before they devise their schemes, their strong proclivity in joining in diabolical disasters with the wickedness of organ harvesting which is criminally insane fuelled by the most insane one influencing humanity — the devil, Satan, our Adversary, our Enemy.
My choice is to be kept as comfortable as possible with pain relief without altering my mind or changing my cognitive state so that I can still process, think, be reasonably alert in order to pray, talk to others, and study effectively if God chooses to take my life now or earlier than expected. I believe in the power of prayer first and foremost above any surgery, any medical procedure, and anything in this world that offers to save my life. A few years ago I would not have said this. It is marvellous that God can work in us in this way to build our faith for which I give Him the glory and cannot take any credit at all.
Anyway, the best medicine and my medicine comes from God when I read His Word in the Holy Bible, my most valuable and precious possession. The beach is also my medicine. The quiet mornings at home with birds chirping sweetly, or warbling creatively, or twittering here and there rather pleasantly, or alerting others with a staccato repetitive sound that encourages urgent movement perhaps, and then there is this relative newcomer singing so skillfully it causes me to pause quietly in order to listen attentively. The sound he makes is especially beautiful and melodic. The bird is black and shiny with a yellow beak. It is a Blackbird! In all my years of living in various places within Australia and briefly in America I have always taken notice of the birdlife around me but have never enjoyed the presence of a Blackbird. This is a blessing and a first. Grateful thanks once again. Oh the joy of being at home while convalescing. Will this “medicine” be enough to heal me? Only God knows.
A great blessing in the “week that was” involved the chance encounter of seeing my eldest daughter. We are estranged due to her non-acceptance of my Christian life believing I am in a cult and giving money to others out of guilt. Nothing could be further from the truth but she cannot see this presently as she is still grieving the loss of her mother as I once was, celebrating all the pagan holidays such as xmas, easter, halloween, new year’s eve, valentine’s day, and so forth. Now and again I shed a few tears for the loss of my children but I tell God that I can wait to be reconciled with them in the Kingdom if needed. It seemed like I just told this to God again one day in the “week that was” and the next day He gave me this encounter where we saw one another for a few minutes and exchanged a few words. The way this specifically came about due to the circumstances that unfolded is truly remarkable and one I marvel at. It nearly did not happen but God saw to it that it did. What a great Father we have! This could quite possibly be the last time I see my eldest daughter in this life. It was quite some time before this that we last were together. Again, I am at peace knowing we will be together once resurrected in the future (1 Corinthians 15:20-26).
So if I do not survive this tumour or growth on my left Adrenal Gland and it eventually takes my life I am full of joy knowing that the next moment after my sleep I will be resurrected hopefully as a firstfruit ready to join Christ in the air upon His return to earth to usher in God's Kingdom. Being spared seeing the Great Tribulation will be a welcome and wonderful bonus to be in a place of safety via burial or cremation. And if God heals me and I live on till Christ returns then I am full of joy to serve our great God in whatever capacity His will is. Either one of these scenarios is great. I will do what God asks and be thankful for whatever He decides. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 sums it all up quite nicely.