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This past week we celebrated our third wedding anniversary. Coincidentally our anniversary came this year on the same day as Thanksgiving. I took the day off from work which was easy to do being part of the casual workforce. It was a really lovely day, exactly the sort of weather I would specifically choose for our outing. Sunny and warm with the slightest breeze and the temperature around 26 degrees Celsius which is about 78 or 79 degrees Fahrenheit. Just the very next day the weather turned for the worse, reminding us that God never disappoints with His timely blessings. We happily journeyed down south to have a relaxing lunch at a restaurant we had not been to before where the reviews were glowing. The view was spectacular to behold if you were seated in the best seats. Overall, it was pleasant despite the loud noise inside as the place was packed from wall to wall. Wooden floors, plastic chairs, and bare windows contributed to the less than ideal acoustics as the restaurant was bereft of any soft furnishings such as curtains, carpet, or padded chairs. Outside there were several workmen building onto the restaurant which added to the din. When we left it was quite a noticeable contrast to be in the quiet surroundings of beautiful Willunga beach with only a dozen or so people along the pristine sandy foreshore that stretched for miles.
After dining on King George Whiting we spent the rest of the day driving around the gorgeous Adelaidean coastline until we eventually returned home late in the evening but before dark. Beautiful day, the best company, and precious time to reflect on our marriage. Three years have gone by so quickly. There are many wonderful things to be grateful for in our mate, our partner for life, until “death do us part”. God intended marriage to be a very serious covenant with beautiful blessings. Such a devastating pity that many treat marriage lightly, either scorn the ceremony as “not needing the piece of paper” or worse...demanding marriage in circumstances that were never intended for this union. Then we have this huge group who are unfaithful to their wife or husband by committing adultery. Imagine how God thinks and feels about the act of adultery!
No need to attempt to imagine this because God clearly states what He thinks, what He says about adultery and unfaithfulness, and exactly how He feels about it. In Exodus 20:14 the sin of adultery is contained within the 10 commandments and placed as number 7. When opening our Bibles to explore what scripture says we can read Proverbs 6:32 “Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul”. By extension that goes for women too. God wanted us to take great notice of His warnings regarding adultery so He had King Solomon write about this topic at length in Proverbs 5, 6, and 7. Do you remember that Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines? This information or evidence is found in 1 Kings 11:1-3. Isn’t it interesting that the wisest man who ever lived was the weakest when it came to women — for they turned Solomon’s heart away from God (1 Kings 11:4-6). Solomon had it all, actually too much, and it was to his detriment.
So we can surmise from the following scripture that adultery starts in our minds with thoughts of lustful images, of looking longingly at a woman or man, prolonged eye contact, winking, flirting, all can be considered adultery even before the act of sexual contact because it is the intention of our hearts that is at the crux of the matter. Matthew 5:27-28 clearly states “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart”. Again this includes women as well. Powerful words to be heeded indeed so much so that God repeated the instruction not to commit adultery in Deuteronomy 5:18.
God intended that when two people, one man and one woman (only) enter into their marriage, that this is sacred and binding. It is exclusive to anyone and everyone else in society. Hebrews 13:4 instructs “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge”. Nobody else is to interfere in this sacred covenant of marriage, not even with lustful thoughts, let alone physical actions as we all know, or should know, that lustful thoughts usually lead to lustful actions. We are to remove any thoughts as soon as they enter our minds and hearts because of the danger of sin. That is why we have the scripture written by the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body”.
Lustful thoughts are powerful and can easily overtake and threaten our righteous state. Once we indulge and mull over or entertain these sinful thoughts we are guilty of committing sin — unfaithfulness to our beloved wife or husband, and unfaithful to God. We have made our desires of paramount priority, defiling our bodies, our temple, and have rejected God and all things holy to make ourselves an idol — our very self. This is prideful vanity. Going on from the previous scripture, God provides in 1 Corinthians 6:19 “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s”. God’s elect are held to a higher account to be holy as opposed to the rest of humanity. 1 Peter 1:13-16 says so much in this respect...“Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy’.” Within this scripture I particularly appreciate the way Peter writes about girding up the “loins” of our minds meaning to wrap up or cover tightly with a barrier, thereby containing sexual, lustful thoughts in addition to replacing them with the hope of the promise of salvation through the death of Christ and to emulate His holiness.
We cannot have simultaneous thoughts that are so opposite, lustful vs holy, and that is why we need to remind ourselves to fill up on God’s thoughts when lustful thoughts sneak in or wander in via our wicked hearts (Jeremiah 17:9). If we truly desire to be faithful and holy like God then we cannot and must not engage in unfaithfulness to our spouse even in any fleeting thought pertaining to adultery, idolatry, or any sexual act that is abominable to God such as we find written in 1 Corinthians 6:9 “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites…” and it goes on to describe further wickedness against God. We should not want to be unfaithful even for a millisecond to our spouse or to God despite anything and everything this world has to offer.
If this devastating situation has happened to you, or is currently a problem, then there is only one thing to do. Immediately go to God and repent with a humble contrite heart in prayer like King David did in Psalm 51. Read this Psalm through and pray with all your heart, mind, and strength. Place your own words in to substitute David’s words wherever differences occur so that this is incredibly personal and fitting. Use Psalm 51 as a template to help you if you find prayer or composing original writing daunting. Fast and pray to seek out God’s mercy whatever the circumstances. Remember how Joseph found himself in such a situation with a worldly woman who desired to commit adultery with him? Genesis 39 contains the account with 39:12 referencing how Joseph responded to Potiphar’s wife who repeatedly tried to seduce him...he fled because he was a godly man, serving God and denying himself. Her seduction did not work in tempting him. All men should be like Joseph and follow his example. It can be done. For women we aim to aspire to be a Proverbs 31 woman.
The Dangers Of Flirting With Death
There are many reasons God has joined us in marriage. Married life at this time is great preparation for our betrothal to Jesus Christ at the Wedding Supper which is to come. Daily practice of putting our spouse ahead of our desires so that we truly love them with all of our being, not just when it is convenient, is truly esteeming the other before oneself (Philippians 2:3). I know for myself one reason I did not want to ever remarry (but God changed my mind supernaturally) is that I had a very poor opinion of men in general, not helped by my physical father or previous men in my life. I simply cannot and will not tolerate unfaithfulness in others as well as myself. I guess I must be like God in this matter but nowhere near as patient or merciful. I would rather have remained single and free from any hurt or pain through unfaithfulness; and I can repeatedly see why God wanted this union between myself and my devoted husband...he is completely faithful and not even tempted in the slightest with any other woman in the world. I imagine there would be a very small number of women who could honestly say this. He is a combination of Joseph and Jesus, to me.
The many times women have openly flirted with him whether behind my back or quite openly in front of me are many. They cannot seem to resist staring at him, telling him how good looking or handsome he is, even touching him, flirting outrageously to the point it could ruin my joy, and it has done so when freshly married. I still don’t like it as it shows disrespect to me, sometimes feeling invisible to these women, but I have managed to cope because I know my husband will never be unfaithful to me. Even on our anniversary the young woman could not resist the opportunity to flirt inviting Jim to spend the afternoon with her instead of me. Never mind it was meant to be a “joke” and in my eyes a very poor one at that. I quietly replied that I don’t think he would want to do that on our wedding anniversary. Still she laughed and I managed a sincere laugh too because I could base it on my husband’s great love and devotion to me day after day. We are perfectly matched by God and we allow God’s Holy Spirit to lead us, much to the annoyance of some of these silly women who rather resemble clowns in behaviour and in how heavily made up they are believing or having false confidence in their looks. If only they could confidently face the world with their freshly washed faces as God intended. They are slaves to their master so they continue to paint on a façade day after day which makes me feel sad for them as they are prisoners in this world. The day will come when they will be released from this oppression.
If any good can come out of these experiences, it is that my opinion has switched to seeing what women are truly like, with a more balanced approach that not all men are full of rampant, sexual lusts. So for that I am truly grateful as I always blamed men before I married my best friend. As the saying goes...it only takes the love of one good man and I know with all my heart, mind, and being, that is what I have. How I ever was able to be this blessed I am sure I couldn’t say, other than that of God’s incredible goodness despite our failings. Surely not deserved, but so very welcomed. God is definitely healing me of pre existing baggage.
We know God abhors and hates physical and spiritual unfaithfulness. He desires His bride, us, to be pure, holy and virginal. We must therefore remain faithful always to Him and reject all the lustful pulls of the world. In order to achieve this we must remain close to God by ensuring our relationship is strong in prayer and righteous living. Concentrate on obedience each day and abstain from fleshly lusts which lead to death. There are many instances within the Bible of God’s people engaging in adultery even from early times after Moses came down from Mt Sinai with the 10 commandments to give to the people, as He found them worshipping a golden calf (Exodus 32). Not only was this spiritual adultery but also physical adultery. We can read what happened to these people — Exodus 32:33 reveals their punishment.
Honour God by honouring your spouse and learn to continue to fear God with respectful awe so that we will have a faithful heart. Remember God’s words to us in Deuteronomy 5:29 “Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep all My commandments, that it might be well with them and with their children forever!” Determine in your heart today that you will be wholeheartedly faithful to God, to your spouse, and children, as your salvation is on the line.