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What exactly does the Proverbs 31 woman look like? Come with me to discover the answer to this question as we enter the best book in the world — our Bible!
Of course we do not have an image painted or a photograph set before our eyes, but if we take notice of the description God “paints” we will have a good perception or understanding of the Proverbs 31 woman when we come into contact with her.
We may have an idea of someone who we would like to emulate — perhaps an older lady in the church who presents herself respectfully in character, is modestly dressed, has good manners, is helpful, wise, and has talents to admire (1 Timothy 2:9-10). She consistently has kind words to say, enjoys conversing with others whether young or old, cooks amazing food for potlucks, and is always willing to pray for others. It is good to have a role model to look up to as a benchmark or something to strive for as long as we do not become discouraged or fixated on unrealistic expectations. For instance some women enjoy cooking whilst others simply do not. In this case you may be satisfied with being able to make simple dishes well. No point trying to go “over the top” and attempt a very difficult or complex meal as setting yourself up for failure is just not a good idea. Try to set realistic goals; there is no reason why you couldn’t invite a mentor over for a cup of coffee or tea and “pick” their brain for tips on how to cook a particular dish you enjoy. Start off slowly and build upon a foundation much like we do with our spiritual foundation. If we add a little here and there and focus on the achievable then it will happen. Rather than forcing things, be patient and diligent with persistence in prayer. The key is to be willing, busy and doing.
Proverbs 31:10-31 refers to the virtuous wife. Ladies do not be discouraged if you are not married yet, are too young to be married, think you do not want to ever get married, or have been married and no longer are, due to divorce or death of a spouse. The template for the Proverbs 31 woman is set by God for all women whether young or old, but particularly useful in their formative years as they approach marriageable age in order to transition into womanhood gracefully and wisely. It is a very beautiful example for women to notice and draw from in order to know how they should live, and to aspire to be the very best they can be. Our Father knows that Godly women want to know how to conduct themselves with a sound and practical example to refer to.
God also knows that Godly men, especially when noticing women as potential mates, want to know what qualities of character to look for and consider in a woman in order to have a Godly union whereby his future wife is wise, kind, understanding, loving, and will be a blessing to him and their children all the days of their lives because she fearfully respects God. Fearfully here means she is in awe of God by taking all matters to Him and listens to His will rather than her own carnal human nature. The Proverbs 31 woman is obedient in all spiritual matters and because she is, God sees to it that her life is full of love and joy...she would not change anything in her life because she is living the most contented way and appreciates everything, from the smallest blessing to the greatest. Women in Godly marriages who have been given this blessing by God know exactly what this means...there is no greater joy in this human life until we are changed. It is a type of or forerunner to being married to Christ...that is how good it is! (Ephesians 5:22-23).
The list of attributes the Proverbs 31 woman personifies can be summarised resoundingly in just one word...WISDOM. This overarches all thoughts, words, and actions within her waking moments as she goes about her typical day in service to others. God blesses her by providing all that she needs for herself and her household...there is no doubt she is close to God in prayer and delights in giving. Her heart is soundly at peace as she has purpose, faith in that purpose, and knows God is blessing her efforts. She has been given the gift of diligence, motivation, knowledge, wisdom, goodness, kindness, generosity, and a pure and sound mind to bless others. Her ability to sew, spin, weave and create clothing as well as serviceable articles is another way God blesses her and this flows on to her household, the less fortunate, and the poverty stricken.
Wisdom More Precious Than Rubies...Proverbs 8:11
Proverbs 3:15 refers to wisdom as more precious than rubies which ties in with Scripture in Proverbs 31:10 comparing the Proverbs 31 woman to being “far more precious than rubies”. Why is the Proverbs 31 woman so full of wisdom? Because she has healthy fear of the Lord as spoken about in Proverbs 2:5. All of Proverbs 2 is packed full of instruction related to knowledge and wisdom with what to do and what to avoid in our daily walk with God.
Because the Proverbs 31 woman pursues all that is Godly and is full of virtue, her husband safely trusts her (Proverbs 12:4; 18:22; 31:11). She is entrusted with many things and has mutual respect and honour with her husband. The woman is referred to as strong, having valour, industrious, and unafraid of hard times because she is wisely planning and preparing rather than taking it easy...she is never idle. She is appropriately driven to attend to all things in a timely fashion thereby redeeming the time and making wise use of it.
Notice that everything highlighted so far is all about the Proverb 31 woman’s heart, mind and character...of what is on the inside — the internal. Nothing has been mentioned regarding her external or what we see of her face, hair, body, stature, size or beauty. That is because it is her character, her behaviour, her righteousness of virtue that is seen, that should be what matters and most important. What does God say about what makes a woman beautiful? We can read this in 1 Peter 3:3-4 taken from the English Standard Version Bible “Do not let your adorning be external — the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewellery, or the clothing you wear — but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious”. This is precisely the Proverbs 31 woman...focussed on others, not on self.
There is no mention made of spending time in front of the mirror applying hair dye or make up, nail polish or making an elaborate hairstyle as part of the Proverbs 31 woman’s typical day. That is because they are not part of it. All of these things are of the world and take up our time, money, effort, and really are part of the Egyptian culture which has spread worldwide. Do we really want to be “dragging Egypt with one foot in the world and one out of it?” As God’s children do we really want to compromise and just use a little of this or that in order to feel better about ourselves? Perhaps you are in the habit of wearing lipstick? I used to be and thought nothing of it until one day my research showed the historical origins dating back to temple prostitutes and that is when I could no longer justify the use of something disgusting in God’s eyes. Since then I have come to know the blessing of freedom from slavery to the god of this age in another area that can appear as so very subtle to many — precisely what the devil enjoys doing — deceiving God’s children.
What do you think? Is it worth having your own will or seeking out God’s will in every single aspect of your life? The Proverbs 31 woman cares for herself by ensuring she gets therapeutic sleep, has good hygiene habits, wears clean and modest clothing, has a hairstyle that is easy to manage without taking up a lot of time, enjoys that she has any hair and accepts the colour because God gave it to her to match her complexion — she even delights when silver hair is discovered weaving through the coloured strands showing her experience and a longer life blessed by wisdom. She washes her face every day and delights in wearing the exact face designed by the Master Creator as unique to her and her only, bereft of chemically laden products that alter and mask her true appearance that God gave to her.
The devil says he can make us more beautiful and entices most of the world with products that can cause major harm. Among the devastating effects are strokes, neurological damage, skin cancers, rashes, painful reactions including burning pain and many more skin conditions and issues that can be permanent. Can we as Godly women be thankful and grateful for simple pleasures that tie in with femininity rather than adding to what God considers as His perfect masterpiece? I think we can. All we have to do is realise we have been created astonishingly beautiful and in the very image of God (Genesis 1:27). Ask yourself this...are you trying to look more like God our Creator, or the god of this world? You cannot choose both. Therefore it’s time to be wise and choose the Godly state of a woman — full of purity and bereft of worldly ways. So be brave and ditch all the artificial stuff that is not from God. Don’t let the devil continue to lie to you even one more day and tell you what is beautiful because he is a liar and the father of lies! (John 8:44).